What are mind games? A mind game is when someone deliberately uses his/her mind to indirectly influence or manipulate other peoples thought processes, reaction or behavior while you keep them unaware of what you are thinking while trying to determine what they are thinking. The main components of mind games are your mind, words, silence, observation, proximity to target person(s), listening skills and motive(s).
Why do people play mind games? Don't be naive. Our worst enemy is our own fellow human beings. The actions of man are the single greatest killer of human geings outside of natural causes e.g warfare, murder and genocide. Human beings are the only specie that kills its own for reasons other than for food.
Wild animals in their natural environment will kill namely for two reasons: for food and to eliminate the competition. Wild animals though don't go hunting the competition. In fact, when there's abundant food, wild animals will tend to avoid each other; they instinctively work out a truce of sort. They will also compete and fight for the right to mate. However, the outcomes of most of those fights are determined by the stronger animal prevailing over the weaker. The objective is to win females and the rights to mate. Usually the vanquished is chased away with or without injuries and more often than not, with its life intact. The point is, animals don't play mind games.
Human beings on the other hand are intelligent, loving, productive, generous and creative beings. Huh! If this statement is totally true then why do we have so many prisons? And so much crime? Okay, so here's the reality. Human beings are also devious, disobedient, greedy, vengeful, hateful, dishonest, disloyal, conniving, cantankerous, belligerant, power hungry, jealous and envious, covetous, violent and murderous (to name just a few of our flaws). Such is human nature.
We come in contact with other human beings every day at: home, work, social events, sporting events, church, public transportation, stores, shops, hospitals, schools, libraries, etc. Human beings are social animals. We therefore may (or may not interact) with others on any given day. We interact with family members, friends, relatives, co-workers, acquaintances, team mates, public officials and other members of the public.
Here is where things get interesting. Some human beings you may come in contact with may take a dislike (obvious or not so obvious) to you for disclosed or undisclosed reasons. If someone (anyone) that you are interacting with, you perceive, chooses to dislike (envy?) you for undisclosed reasons(s), then the seeds are sewn for mind games. Welcome to the club.
Let's examine this phenomenon a little closer. In life, you make natural enemies the same way you make natural friends: by interaction. Your enemy may constantly gnaw at you. They may try, through negative criticisms, to attack your: self-esteem, self-confidence, lifestyle, work, talent(s), support system, ideas, beliefs, just about anything. Their approach can be either subtle or brazen or some combination thereof. The enemy you must interact with on your job or at home for instance, don't just go away in the morning when you awake. They are determined to get (at) you. They may have several (ulterior) motives. It may be jealousy and envy. You may have something they want. You may in the way of them getting a promotion. Reasons and motives may vary depending on circumstances. To become a good mind game player there are some attributes you must have along with a desire to apply them for your benefit and protection.
First of all, you must love and respect yourself and others. Unfortunately, in order to remain true to yourself and your values, it means you may have to love your enemy too. Hatred is destructive and destruction breeds destruction.
How do you love your enemy? For those of you who don't believe you have enemies then I decree that you're being unrealistic and naive. Okay, where was I? Let me clarify that you do not love your enemy the same way you love your family and friends.
You can love your enemy by wishing them good. Get to know your enemy well. Discretely find out everything you can about them. See if there's any good in them. Find out about their strengths, their weaknesses, their support system. Do not let them get to you. Don't allow them to get you angry. Do not let them fill you up with negative and violent thoughts. Do not let them fill you up with hatred. Do not give them too much of your quality time. When you are in their presence, do more of the listening and do not let your emotions betray you. Do not wish them harm because people usually reap what they sew. Don't get into arguments with your enemy. Do not confirm or deny their interjections or accusations. Let them believe what they want to believe and think what they want to think.
Keep the friends of your enemy close. Find out what you can about them from their friends, without appearing too interested. Do not divulge how much you know to their friends in case they are trying to trap you. Smile even when they try to upset you. Whenever possible, avoid them. Choose your words carefully. Keep your enemy guessing. Just when they think that they know you, do the opposite to what they expect. Never let them see you down. Cover your tracks well. Don't discuss them with too many people. Don't give them ammunition to use against you.
Do not let your enemy know too much about your support system. They may try to undermine you. Keep them away from your inner circle. Steer them away from getting too close to the people who matters most to you. Be subtle. Don't give them any hints that you are engaged in mind games against them.
Secondly, your enemies are real people, in real situations. The stakes can become very high. You can play mind games aginst anyone. It can be your boss for instance, or your spouse, or another family member, or team mate. It is always precarious when it is someone close to you and with whom you may interact with often.
Thirdly, before playing a mind game, make sure you examine yourself thoroughly. Ensure that you are renewing your mind everyday with positive thoughts and energy. Set aside clear objectives why you are playing mind games to begin with. Do not make your enemy "larger than life". Focus on the things in life that you hold sacred. Don't use up too much mental energy on enemy mind games. Don't be consumed by it.
The main objective of mind games must be to neutralize your enemy by peaceful means. If over time your enemy cannot get through to you, then eventually, they may burn out their negative energy and give up. Keep your friends close but keep your enemy closer. The enemy you don't know is more of a threat to the one you know. Do not live in isolation because no man is an island. Once you master these principles, you will have your enemy coming to you. They may not be converted to allies but you may find out what they are thinking. It that way, you can minimize the chances of being caught off your guard. You can be a step ahead of them thereby ensuring your survival.
However, don't let your guards down. There are some people who will go to extreme means to make your life miserable and to cause your demise. They are not to be taken lightly. It might be a co-worker competing for the boss's affection, trying to climb the corporate ladder. In such a situation, you must strive to become proficient not only at your job itself but also at how to play corporate politics. You must understand how corporate relationships work and make the right allies. Working smart means "knowing" the right people too and using them to get ahead. They are the ones that can make you better at what you do.
Your worst enemy can be someone you live with. It can be your fiance, wife, husband, brother, sister, room mate, whom ever. Hey, you just never know. Before jumping to conclusions, make sure and study each situation carefully. In as much as you do not want to be wrong about someone, it is also inadvisable to make the common error of being in denial that someone close to you can be your enemy.
Love everyone but trust no one. Trust has to earned. You don't give it away freely. There is a saying,"..trust is like the soul, once it leaves (it's broken), it never returns". When someone close to you betrays you, it's never the same afterwards. You forgive but you don't forget.
Learn to forgive an enemy who hurts you. It begins healing. Do not rejoice in the demise of your enemy; just learn from it and move on. Be the bigger person. Do not render evil for evil. This will cause you to self-destruct.
Let's put all of this into perspective. You can play as much mind games as you want in a civilized and law abiding environment. However, the rules of engagement can be drastically different in a war torn country for instance. Where social chaos exists also, mind games be not be sufficient to ensure your survival or well being. In those circumstances, mind games (by itself) are not recommended where your personal safety and that of your loved ones can be compromised. Don't make yourself an easy target. Be realistic.
There are situations in life where war is inevitable. Mental wars can be fought through mind games, in civilized, stable and developed societies. In some societies however, there are enemies that will kill you because there is inadequate policing. Remember a cold war was fought (and won) between two nuclear super-foes without a nuclear "punch" being thrown. Do not underestimate the power of mind games. What kind of society do you live in?
Therefore know your environment and study your enemy well before you play mind games. Decide what you want your legacy to be. What kind of human being do you want to be? Do you want to make the earth a better place for all people? Discover your purpose in life. Strive to be a good, if not an outstanding, human being. Remember the examples set by Mahatma Ghandi and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Their legacies were based on equality for all men, based on peaceful (non-violent) protest. Their legacies live on today.
Do not expend too much mental energy in mind games. Be wise. Be aware of your enemies but do not be consumed by them. Use your mind productively and positively. Lighten up. Life is short. Live it to the fullest, be the best you can be and enjoy it.
Finally, love is the most powerful emotion in the universe. Fill yourself with it and in the end you will triumph over your enemies and life's trials and tribulations. Let love of fellowman be an integral part of your legacy. After all ,behavior breeds behavior.
